What to talk about? The movie I am working on? Would you like to hear about the 17 hours I spent with Christian Bale? How about Johnny Depp in all his gorgeousness, standing 12 feet in front of me?
No, I have to talk about the audition I just had.
On Monday, I get a call. Will I come in for a callback for the Goodman, the Goodman people. For the new Tommy Tune musical. About a cabaret singer. Kill me…I was so nervous. Well, to make things even freakier, we have to create a dance break within our song. That’s all, just a little 16 bar dance break. By Wednesday.
WHAT? It isn’t enough having to sing for you, now you want
me to pull dance moves out of my butt? You want me to choreograph for you…just
who do you think I am? I can’t dance! Choreograph? You have to be kidding! Do I
look like Tommy Tune?
Well, I called up my good friend, Stephen Wright and asked him if he could
choreograph something for me. I called up Bob Moreen to play for me at the
audition. The dance was so cute. The song was Arthur Murray taught me dancing
in a Hurry. Should have been adorable.
Well, there I was with the 3 other people called in. Just three. All women. One by one we are called in to audition for the casting director. It’s my turn and I go into the theatre.
It was the worst audition I have ever given in my life. The worst!! I was so freaked out about the dance that my lyrics went out the door. I was just trying to sing things that rhymed! Keep the smile on and the sound level up, that’s all I kept hearing inside my head! Then, I got mad that the lyrics were lost so, I forgot the dance. It was so embarrassing! I was mortified.
And then the unthinkable happened. He asked to see my comic monologue.
Why was he asking to see my monologue? How crazy was that? Could he just be torturing me? Did he need extra material to talk about at the bar? “You wouldn’t believe the audition I saw today! You call that dancing? And wait till I tell you about her monologue!” Actually, that went well. I was so mad at myself that my focus was pretty strong.
I just don’t know. Just when I think I know what they are looking for, they surprise me.
