Why is it you just can’t run into the store and buy shampoo? Every bottle, in the shampoo aisle, has some kind of mysterious name to describe the contents. I just want a bottle of shampoo folks. It’s like the advertising men were working over time.
I get the same feeling when I’m in a book store. I just want a book, people, and you have so many here, I can’t move. I am paralyzed. I can’t buy a thing, because there are too many options. What if I pick the wrong one? I have control issues, obviously… one step away from being a hoarder and living among cat feces.
But, I digress. Shampoo. Back on subject. Why can’t they just make a pretty bottle and call it shampoo. Period. But no…we got options.
Energizing. What is that supposed to mean? Are there small electrical currents in the ingredients and it will shock your head into awake land? Will it be tingley like Dandruff shampoo? I like that.
Body. Well, first I have to get past the subset for this one. Fine, limp hair. Why would anyone say they had this on their heads? It sounds just awful. I think I would skip the shampoo, shave it all off and just get a wig. Shampoo is not going to fix this problem.
Moisture. Does this mean I don’t need to use a conditioner? Then why are you selling one with the same packaging? Shouldn’t the shampoo’s moisture be enough? Will I walk around with wet head for all eternity? Will I be able to wring the moisture out of my head? Ick.
These are just three. There are so many. Smooth. Control. Curls. Extreme. Soft.
Shouldn’t I want all these things in the same shampoo? If I buy one of them, do I lose out on the rest of the options? Why so stinging with the miracles? I want the hair of fashion models. Of movie stars. Why won’t you give it to me?
In the end, I bought the one the smelled the best and called it done.
