It’s been years, but this week… I, (Laura Freeman) used my equity card. This is huge. Not everyone works all the time. Most people don’t. Plus, I didn’t have to sing the whole 2 days. I was an actor type. Not a singer type. Pretty cool.
The two day, equity card using, event was a program that a big law firm puts together, to give their beginner lawyers court room experience. Well, a pretend adjudicated court room experience. They hire a bunch of actors to be on the stand and then the lawyers have to lead a direct or cross, depending on what side you are on. It was so much fun. Basically, you are participating in a large 2 hour improve session. Luckily, there were parameters. You were given the witnesses’ deposition and you had to memorize those facts. But, you had no idea what most of the lawyers were going to ask you and how your testimony was going to be used against you…if you memorized incorrectly or didn’t have that information as fact and you were now improving on something a lawyer was going to turn around on you. That part was weirdly scary. “What if they find out I’m lying?” Boggles the mind, it does.
OK, I am in the chair. My lawyer has asked me if I have read the contract. I cringe a little inside. It is not clear in the deposition if I have or have not read the whole thing. I take a leap and say NO, I haven’t read the whole thing. I just know about the sketches and the written detail specifications. This is not part of the contract. Nope, no way. You need to sound sure of yourself. There is even a jury and bailiffs in each court room. You want to sound credible!
On cross…that bastard made me read the headlines of the contract that said specifically: Detail Specifications. There they were in the contract. So, I had read them. DOH! Thinking fast, I say well, my boss just gave the specifications to me. I had no idea they were part of the contract, since I just got these two pages. All the rest of this…Gobbledygook….I didn’t read that, there was no reason to. The old, I just work here defense.
Gobbledygook, a lawyer type term I must have heard on LA Law. What the hell? I mean I pulled out of my ass “sophisticated customer”, “safety precautions”, “prior written authorization”, I had dates and dimensions…hell, the name of the place was Northwest Dredge and Dock…try saying that 3 times fast. But, referring to the contract as Gobbledygook, was by far the smartest thing I did all day. The fancy bastard beginner lawyer didn’t know what to do with my fancy lawyer type term. He dropped the whole thing!
