I have a friend who is an outsider. You know these people. Perhaps you date one or have one in the family. An outsider is a person who isn’t in the business but is supportive…. they come to see shows, have a deep love of the arts, but they remain in the “real world”, with a real job and a purpose that is bigger than self. I love these people. They are firmly routed in reality. Mad is mad; happy is happy etc. no fantasy.
Well, recently my outsider friend decided to take a class. Just to see what it would be like. They thought they could use some of the acting skills in real life and free themselves a bit. They found a class of beginners, one full of youth and excitement.
Remember when you were in those first couple of classes? You were young and so excited. So much energy was flowing around you. You were finally in an environment with a lot of other misfits. Finally fitting in with the majority, you were so energized! You were being asked to say yes to everything. The worst thing you could do was to say no and shut a door to a possibility. It ended the scene to say no. It stopped the other actors flow to say no. No was bad, yes was good.
Classes like that were always so eye-opening. Here you were used to society telling you no. Your parents told you no. There was no everywhere. And along came this class and you began to say yes to everything. You started testing the limits of yes being good; drugs, alcohol, sex being part of the experiment.
I was just talking to a group of performers about the 80’s and what we were doing. It should have been a conversation on who we were doing and for how long. That was a huge part of our summer stock lives. When we weren’t in rehearsal, performing, cleaning the theatre, making costumes and folding programs, we were screwing. A lot. What? We were saying yes to stuff.
Anyway, back to my friend. They were feeling confused by all the attention they were getting in the class. Sexual attention. My friend was feeling special and attractive and desirable. Too bad they told me about it. Cause here I come with the cold reality of what was really going on. The class was providing an outlet for the yes experiment. Actors were pushing boundaries, nothing was off limits, nothing in poor taste, and nothing had consequences. They’re young and fancy free. These are kids dabbling in the arts and the lure of talent. We are such a bundle of “love me, please…please, love me”. Why? Well, I reminded my friend that some actors were misfits in school. We got social acceptance the day we stepped in front of people and heard laughter or applause. It is an intoxicating sound. Look at poor Britney. She can’t pull away from the limelight to save her life. She needs to be loved by millions. She can’t even differentiate between being laughed at and being laughed with. It’s really sad. But, being talked about has become synonymous with being loved. You know, “no such thing as bad publicity!”
If you are a healthy, well adjusted individual, entering into the world of theatre for the first time, it must be a confusing place to be. How can you trust the feelings around you? Are they real or are they part of a script? If, as an adult with real life things, a relationship, a mortgage, responsibilities…how can you say yes to everything? Isn’t that unrealistic? Not to mention dangerous. Sometimes you have to say no. Don’t you?
I started thinking about what I project to people when I am up on stage. It feels great to get that admiration, the longing looks from the gentlemen in the front row. But, am I going to take one home with me? Now that I am older and not a “beginner”, (puff, puff…exhaling of cigarette) I don’t need to be loved by many. I am more than happy to be loved by one and get applause on the side. That’s all, just applause! You really don’t have to say yes to everything to be in this business. You can say no.